Love this song … Lyrics and soul..
I haven’t written in a long time ..
Guess I didn’t have nothing that good to say .. Or share ..
Over the years , my writing has been both sporadic and prolific ..
.. As a way to purge negativity sometimes , as a way to question myself other times , mostly as a way to just lay my thoughts the *fuck down . *Pardon my French .
Sometimes I m so absorbed into thinking that nothing gets done . Deep thinking can be a paralysis .
I have been living a lot those past couple of years .
I ve had a serious case of ADD . I ve been a singer , a poet , a photographer , all in the space of two years . Smh. When will discovering myself stop ? I mean Damn . And everytime , I am super convinced this is IT! This is the One thing I am meant to do!!! Bullshit .
Ask my friends .. They ll tell u .
Even they are tired of my ‘brand new me’s ’ every two minutes .
Side note : Parents , let ur kids be innocent creatures . Don’t allow them to grow so fast . And be mature before time is right . U ll create ( lost ) intelligent adults who know a lot about a lot , except their own selves .
I Dropped the blog so I can start to embrace a ‘real ‘website .. Cute little pictures of me , twitter bar on opening page , modeling highlights , Wordpress blog and so on … I had it DOWN!
Didn’t serve me really .. I ddnt share nothing through it . Nuh’in’..
I m very bad at self promoting . I know it could make my modeling career a bit more juicier , but I can’t be asked really. Sharing all my morning snacks on Instagram is just not me thing.
And what do u really say ? They say ’ do something interesting enough so people can speak about it ’ .
In that light .. I shouldn’t have to put my ish on front street , but rather keep on working hard so I could continue doing something great AND be promoted by others …(?)
No? Easy way out ? :) I know ! :) ha ! I’m shy . It is what it is.
Way to waste money Jess though .. That website took too much energy!!!
O well, I lived and I have learned .
I ve left NYC a lot since the beginning of the year , feels like I m not ready to go back anytime soon.. I get like that sometimes . NY itches me and I gotta leave .. I tour the world , make plans to go set up camp somewhere else , and I end up right where I started .
Nueva York La Belle .
This time is different though . I feel it in me . Maybe it is the end of a beautiful love story? Or maybe it s the beginning of a new Jess time . Either way , the end allows the beginning . We ll see .
The first trimester of my year isn’t done yet . I can tell a lot from my first trimester of every year . If it s shitty …well.. If it s great … WELL WELL WELL! So far it s in the middle . …WELL o well…
That s it for today .
Every new beginning does start with a first step . I m gonna start writing again .
One step at a time .
Oooo… Should I put a mental note that I have been writing since I’m 12. And I always go back to it !!! Hmmmm… Maybe this is it …!!!??? Naaaaah. Lol.
I know me by now .. I’m fickle with myself ..,
Next thing u know , Tomorrow I am training to be a scuba diver instructor ..
'YOLO ..' Innit ? Correction …
One of my best friend said that I can’t say YOLO no more .. ’ Jess u live as long as u leave memories behind . ’ Kinda deep …